


Gonna Get Over You

by strangertogether



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: And so do the youngins, Daniel is a drama llama, Fluff, I referenced a few irl NW moments but they are in random order lol, Or just Woojin really, The hyungs tease Daniel a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 08:18:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14328363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangertogether/pseuds/strangertogether
Summary: Daniel is resolved to move on and get over Jihoon. See, he's even made himself a fool-proof list on how to make this happen.





	Gonna Get Over You

**Author's Note:**

> I typically don't prefer writing in first person POV but in the course of drafting this it seemed funnier (at least in my head lol) to write it this way, so... Here ya go! Have fun reading :)

 

***

In all my twenty-something years on this earth, I have never had to worry about such a dilemma as the one I'm having now.

 

I'll start this by saying that once upon a time, Jihoon and I were together. Note that the keyword here is  _were._ Past tense. We got together towards the end of last year. Are you surprised? Hah! Seems like something that should be happening at the end of a story, yeah? Wrong. This particular one starts after that.

 

While it's great that we got together, the relationship was brief. And the circumstances of  _why_ we got together was also something that was unusual. Long story short, I had a crush on Jihoon during Produce 101 and  _maaaybe kiiinda_ doggedly pursued him once Wanne One was formed until he probably just got exasperated and went  _'Alright hyung, fine!'_ , and that was that.

 

We went out and did couple-y things together for a few months-- one hundred days to be exact-- but broke it off on the hundredth day for reasons. Mostly it was because we got really really busy and because it was starting to affect our focus so we decided to just be friends. Not very romantic but that was how it went. It somehow felt like I blinked, and it was over. Kaput. Finito. Done-oh. You get my drift.

 

I would tell you what the other reasons were but that's another story for another time.

 

We ended things end of last year and fast forward a few months into 2018 and I think I am currently having my quarter-century crisis. I whined about this to Seongwu the other day and he rolled his eyes at me, claiming that I was too young to be experiencing a mid-life crisis.

 

But what does he know? He doesn't know I've gone back to pining after Jihoon, and I don't think it really went away. It just decided to hibernate for the Winter and is now waking back up just in time for Spring, sprouting feelings in my chest like damn flowers popping up everywhere nowadays, and I don't know how to handle it.

 

The thing is, I know this is not the best time for this. And what I really want is to stop yearning for Jihoon.

 

All this pining-- yeah yeah, I admit to this-- all this pining is not doing my image any good especially when even the members notice. It's embarrassing to be caught on camera looking like my soul left my body whenever Jihoon interacts with his other ships, every time I shoot him longing looks, or whenever I reach out to try and touch his hands but not get it returned, or talk to him and not get a response. I get sad and dejected and  _then_ I start ignoring Jihoon because I'm petty like that.

 

See, I told you it's a hard life for me.

 

So I made a resolution: I will get over Park Jihoon.

 

I was sure about this resolution. With the crazy schedule ahead of us I was confident that it would be an easy thing to commit to; I could just focus on work and be content being buddy-buddy with Jihoon, and nothing else.

 

The first rule of business here was to set my goals. I grabbed my phone and noted down what I needed to do.

 

_Get Over Park Jihoon._

Good start. Now, I think the best way to go about this is to start small. According to those self-help books that Jisung keeps secretly stashed under his bed, I should create attainable goals and go from there. I figured I could start with the things I already do, and cut down on some of them. I continued typing my first idea on my phone:

 

**_Get Over Park Jihoon_ **

**_1\. Stop admiring everything he does_**

 

They said Jihoon's one of my laughter switches and that's kind of true. It doesn't matter what he does, I automatically get a kick out of it and feel immediately happy afterwards. He'd do his aegyo which I've seen a thousand times and I'd find it funny every single time even though the other members have grown pretty immune to it. He would laugh in his deep voice and I'd laugh along with him. Heck, he would be scratching his brows and I'd giggle like he just told the funniest joke ever.

 

The first few days was quite a success, I must say. I rarely paid attention to Jihoon. I didn't react much whenever he spoke to me, and generally tried not to notice him too much. It was a great strategy and I felt like I was a wall. Nothing could crumble this wall.

 

And then one day Jihoon decided to be thoughtful.

 

It was one of those busy days when I had a morning schedule but still spent the night before playing games with Jihoon. Jihoon knew this and was adamant that we only play for a little while so I can get proper sleep. So we played a few games and then Jihoon took the controller from me and ordered me to bed. I dutifully told him  _'Yes Sir!'_ , and off to bed I went.

 

When I woke up, there was a bag of dried seaweed snack on my bedside table with a note:

 

_Good luck with your schedule!_

_-your fan_

 

Even without signing his name I knew who it was from, and even though it was only a snack I was ridiculously happy. Jihoon remembered that it was my favorite and snuck in my room to leave it for me. I pocketed the note, made a mental note to eat them once I return from my schedule, and went about my morning with a spring in my step.

 

I'm sure you'll understand me when I say that I promptly went nuts when I got home and saw Jisung in the living room munching away on  _my_ snack that was a gift from  _my_ Jihoon.

 

"Hyung!" I cried out as I rushed to Jisung, "Why do you have that?!"

 

Jisung had a confused look on his face as he continued munching away, "Because I'm hungry?"

 

"But that's mine! That's a gift from my fan!"

 

"What do you mean? This is what we always stock at the dorm."

 

"No, Jihoon got it for me and it's mine!"

 

"There's more in the pantry if you really want t--"

 

"--No!" I continued to wail, sad at the loss of my precious snack. I guess Jisung is used to me being like this that he just gave me a look and continued nomming. 

 

This irked me, so I lunged at him.

 

"Spit it out, you can't eat that, it's mine!" I cried as I shook Jisung, trying to get him to open up and spill out whatever he's already eaten.

 

Jisung almost choked, but he got out of my death grip and glared at me. "Hey! Are you trying to kill me?" He said as he rubbed his sore neck.

 

"I said that's mine and Jihoon gave it to me and-"

 

"Psh. This again?" Jisung rolled his eyes when he heard Jihoon's name and just gave up and gave the bag to me, "Take it, I don't even wanna know."

 

I made a grumpy face at him and took my gift back to my room. I did have to do a double take though, because once I was inside, there on my bedside table sat the same exact snack. Still in the same place where I left it a few hours ago. Oops.

 

But you know what, Jisung is a tattletale and went complaining to Jihoon about me accusing him of stealing snacks. Jihoon heard the story, smirked, and then proceeded to hand me another bag of dried seaweed to make me feel better, and boy did I feel much much better.

 

"This is so nice of you, Jihoonie! How thoughtful!" I praised him.

 

"You're the best, really. Thank you!" I ruffled his hair.

 

And so on and so forth, until Jihoon got tired of listening to me and went back to his own room. I too, went back to my room to retire for the night, with a huge smile on my face. And then I remembered my first goal.

 

"Ah crap."

 

Suffice it to say that that little scene kind of made my first goal moot. But I was not to be deterred and immediately created my second goal. If the first one did not work, I still have plenty of things up my sleeve: 

 

**_2. ~~Stop~~  Reduce our game time together_**

 

Not to make excuses but I can't just stop our  ~~date~~ game nights, that would be too suspicious! But in the interest of fulfilling my resolution I thought it would be best to cut down on time spent solely with Jihoon, and game nights obviously fall under that category.

 

Now usually all it would take is a  _'Hyung, I'm setting up the consoles in the--'_ and Jihoon doesn't even have to finish his sentence before I reply with a resounding  _'Sure!'_ , but this time, I'm really putting my foot down. So when Jihoon came up to me one night to ask to play, I adamantly refused.

 

"Hyung, you up for some game tonight?" Jihoon asked me when I opened my bedroom door.

 

“I can't, hyung is busy Jihoon-ah," I told him while I tried to avoid his eyes. It's one trick I taught myself-- if you avoid looking in his eyes, there's a 50% greater chance of success at refusing him.

 

"Oh, okay," He replied with a smile, eyes trying to make contact with my own.

 

I redoubled my efforts and shifted my gaze to Sungwoon who's standing outside, at the other end of the dorm instead. My voice sounded a little robotic as I replied but for the most part I think I gave a very convincing and stoic reply. "You're going to have to start playing by yourself, hyung has a tight schedule for this week and--"

 

"Ah right. Maybe next time then, Hyung," Jihoon said and turned away after bidding me good night.

 

I breathed a sigh of relief and internally cheered, patting myself on the back for standing my ground. It was short-lived though, because as soon as Jihoon turned away, Sungwoon called him over after hearing our conversation.

 

"Hey Jihoon-ah," Sungwoon started, "You up for a game?"

 

"Sure, hyung. What do you have in mind?"

 

"I'll set you up with Jimin and the others. I think Taehyung might also--" I heard Sungwoon say as I was closing the door to my room and immediately opened it back up.

 

"Jihoon I have my laptop ready we can play now!" I shouted. Both Jihoon and Sungwoon jumped at the sound of my voice, and turned their heads to me at the same time. "I mean, I don't need to get up early tomorrow because... uh because it's actually next week that's a busy time for me! Yeah."

 

Sungwoon blinked, face confused. "No, I definitely heard you say it's this week."

 

 _Eavesdropper._ "No, you heard me wrong. It's next week." I replied even as I gritted my teeth because dammit, I think I just crumbled my goal #2.

 

"It's this week. It's literally written on all our calendars," Sungwoon walked over as he pulled up his phone and showed me our group's schedules.

 

And as if that was not enough, Jihoon chimed in and pulled his own phone out to show the same exact thing to me, "He's right, Daniel-hyung. You're very busy this week."

 

Faced with these two people whom I have a soft spot for and hence cannot really argue with, I stuttered a  _'Fine!'_ and slammed my bedroom door in their faces. I stood behind the door for a few minutes while I listened to their muffled conversation. Something about playing from Jihoon's laptop with... someone... from another group... which will most likely include BTS members if Sungwoon is involved.

 

I ended up not sleeping at all that night, and parked myself right next to the wall separating my room from Jihoon's, trying to listen in on him having the time of his life playing with his beloved idols.  _That should be me!_ I curse my rotten luck.

 

Needless to say, I think I lost more sleep the past few days because in my effort to minimize our game time I ended up staying awake every night this week with my ears pressed to the wall, trying to figure out who exactly it is Jihoon's playing with and apologizing in my head to Sungwoon for calling him an eavesdropper because clearly, I am a hypocrite.

 

**_3\. Stop sitting next to him during fansigns_ **

 

So my first two plans didn't really work, that's okay. I'm an endless resource of ideas and I was still determined to Get Over Park Jihoon. A few bumps along the way isn't going to weaken my resolve.

 

And maybe this isn't the greatest plan ever but it's still something. Sitting next to Jihoon during fansigns is nerve-wracking as much as it is exciting. You see, most of the time he's  _Jeojang Jihoon_  during fansigns and it's not safe for my heart. I'm weak towards cute things and well, I die a little every time we're sat next to each other because the Cute is turned up all the way to one hundred and I am turned up all the way to heaven.

 

Maybe I'm actually a cat instead of a Samoyed? I obviously have nine lives, and probably more, with the amount of times I've been the wayward victim of Jihoon's Death by Cuteness.

 

But I digress.

 

So. Fansigns. Meet and Greets. Cannot sit next to Jihoon and must not let Jihoon sit next to me. He has a habit of doing that, and I don't know why, but sometimes he'll go to the bathroom and come back and sit next to me, for some reason, even though he wasn't originally seated there.

 

I carried out my plan on our next fansign. But! It was  _that_  fansign. I thought I would be safe because he was dressed in a jumpsuit and looked very much like Dorm Jihoon. And also he was a seat away from me. Very important for someone like me who's trying to carry out Plan #3.

 

Everything was going well at first-- he was a seat away, there's lots of other people to focus on, I was having a grand ol' time. But it was a trap! And Woojin is to blame! Stupid Woojin had to put handcuffs on Jihoon and I thought I was only weak to Jeojang Jihoon but Dorm Jihoon got in line, looking all kinds of handsome in his outfit and with those handcuffs, and as soon as he started his new aegyo,  _'You're all mine!'_ , Plan #3 died and went to heaven from the lethal combination of Jeojang and Dorm Jihoon. It didn't matter if I was seated away from him, I ended up  ~~role~~  playing with him regardless. 

 

As Jisung used to say,  _Thank you Buddha,_  because man, that was one hell of a look and I had no idea I had a kink until that day. May I rest in peace and be resurrected to this look over and over.

 

Also, yeah, I'm a cat.

 

**_4. ~~Stop~~  Limit the time I spend with him_ **

 

At this point, I'm kind of running out of ways to figure out how to carry out my resolution. Three out of three, fail. So maybe instead of doing small, attainable things, I should just go big. Instead of limiting the times I play games with him, I should just limit the time I spend with Jihoon on a whole.

 

Again, it would be too suspicious if I just start ignoring him, but I figured, out of sight, out of mind. If I can't cut out our game times, then I can just limit the time I spend with him everywhere else.

   
"Hyung, want to practice together?"

 

"Sorry kiddo, I... need to clean my room."

 

"Daniel, we're going to the park, wanna come with us?"

 

"Can't, I'm going to the... park... too. But with Jaehwan only!"

 

"Hyung, want some--"

 

"--No I don't want chicken, Jihoon-ah."

 

"--I wasn't going to offer my chicken to you but okay. I was gonna ask if you wanted cola."

 

"No, I don't want cola, Jihoon-ah."

 

"Daniel-hyung, can I go with you to the gym?"

 

"I might be wearing my gym clothes right now and have my gym bag with me but I don't have plans to go to the gym today. Sorry, Jihoonie!"

 

To be honest I'm bad at making up excuses but Jihoon seems to have gotten the hint, and eventually stopped asking me to hang out. Which is good news for me because it means Plan #4 is working just as I wanted it to. Out of sight, out of mind indeed, and I'll be on my way to getting over and moving on from Jihoon.

 

So Jihoon started spending more time with other people and for a while, all was well. Until I realized that we haven't spent time together  _at all_  which was definitely not part of the plan.

 

"Jihoonie, I got some time now, want to play a game?"

 

"Ah sorry hyung, Daehwi and I are studying together tonight."

 

"Jihoon-ah, I'm shopping for clothes today, want me to get you anything?"

 

"Nah, I'm good. I'm going shopping with Guanlin and Jinyoung tomorrow."

 

"Kiddo, I got us chicken, wanna share?"

 

"Thanks hyung! But I'm actually heading out with Woojin. Seongwu hyung is driving us out for chicken and beer," Jihoon replied cheerfully, and waved goodbye to me and Jaehwan who's lounging in the living room. "Bye, hyungs!"

 

That last one... well color me shocked. There's a lot of things wrong with that scenario. First: Jihoon  _never_ refused chicken. Second: He's heading out but didn't invite me at all. Third and most importantly: Why's he going out to drink with Seongwu, of all people? Aren't I his No. 1 choice as the hyung he wants to drink with? What is this blasphemy?!?

 

I continued staring at the door well after Jihoon's gone, my mind trying to process what in the world just happened and why the hell I'm slowly starting to get sullen. I slumped my way over to the living room couch and started to sulk.

 

"Why didn't you invite me too, Jihoon-ah?" I muttered, picking at a loose thread on the couch. There's a lonely strum of a guitar in the distance, and I sighed in regret. "I know I've been avoiding you a little bit but this is just mean!"

 

The guitar twangs again, and my heart swelled with sadness. "And Seongwu-hyung is a traitor! He knows I'm the hyung you want to drink with."

 

"It's nice out tonight, too. You must be having fun getting all flushed and tipsy without me," I sighed again, the bittersweet sound of a guitar pulling at my dejected heartstrings.

 

"I really need to but why is it so difficult to get over you? I promise I really really will this time!"

 

So maybe I shot myself in the foot with Plan #4 and things didn't really go the way I wanted them to. This was supposed to lessen my interaction with Jihoon which should have resulted in me getting a headstart in moving on but it backfired and now here I am feeling jealous instead. There's that bittersweet strum of a guitar once more, and I swear I would--

 

"--WOULD YOU STOP THAT!" I turned to my right and glared at Jaehwan, with a guitar in his hands, perched on the arm at the other end of the couch.

 

"What, I'm just practicing!" Jaehwan replied, a look of suspicious innocence gracing his features. He plucked a few more strings and started playing the chords for BTS's Boy in Luv. 

 

"You’re making me even more miserable," I wailed.

 

**_5\. Sail his other ships instead_ **

 

Listen, I wasn't too successful with my previous methods and I am getting a little worried. I was reading the first four methods and realized that they more or less involved me giving up something on my end so I decided to switch things up. Instead of stopping myself from doing stuff I already do with Jihoon, I decided I should just encourage Jihoon to spend more time with other people.

 

I know what you're thinking. You think I will most likely get jealous like what happened the last time, and fail the entire thing. To be honest I feel the same way. But I figured, I need to challenge myself and the ultimate test of being able to get over Jihoon is being able to get on board his next re... re... relationship. Whew. That was a little hard to say but whatever. I'll ease my way into it.

 

Instead of hogging and vying for his attention, I should just start hyping him with his other ships and get him to spend more time with others. And be happy about it.

 

By the way, that "be happy for him" part? I promise I will work on it.

 

However, before I can even plan out how I'm tackling this one, it turned out that this last one... was a bad idea. From the get-go I had a bad feeling about this, expecially since Seongwu saw my list, saw all the failed goals and honed in on this last one.

 

"In that case, don't mind if I play with Jihoonie~" Seongwu had teased me, and I nearly threw my kitten and puppy plushies at him but restrained myself and only threw the puppy plush.

 

Anyway, that blasted Seongwu not only decided to take the mickey out of me, he also deemed it his great responsibility to blab to the other hyungs about it. Apparently this last plan of mine should be a group effort because according to Seongwu I need all the help I can get. If you put it that way, I guess I can't really argue with that?

 

"Niel-ah wants to get over Jihoonie," He'd said in an obnoxiously exaggerated whisper during dinner with Jisung, Sungwoon, Jaehwan and Minhyun. The kiddos are in another room cooped up and catching up with homework, though in the case of Woojin and Guanlin one is probably running around like a crazed monkey and the other sleeping like a sloth. Heh. 

 

“Why?” Jisung asked.

 

I glared at Seongwu for his utter betrayal, mentally deducting him bro-points before I turn to Jisung. "Don't worry about it, hyung, it's no big deal."

  
"It might not be, but what's this about?" Minhyun chimed in.

 

Thinking that I have nothing to lose by opening up to the others, I went ahead and told them everything. I mean, they had some sort of inkling back then that Jihoon and I were seeing each other, but we never really told anyone and the others never really asked. It was sort of a non-secret; everyone knew there was something going on, but they didn't know  _exactly_  what was going on.

 

Seongwu ended the story by repeating my failed attempts to get over Jihoon, and while I was expecting sympathy, the whole table just erupted with laughter.

 

"Have you been, really?" Sungwoon clapped me on the back and snickered, "'Cause I don't notice anything different."

 

"Same. If anything, you seem much clingier to him nowadays," Jaehwan said.

 

"The youngins too, think you've been kinda wishy-washy, even though they have no idea what's going on," Seongwu added.

 

"If it's any consolation, I have noticed that sometimes you don't hang out as much with Jihoon," Jisung said, and gave me an encouraging nod. "But then afterwards you smother him with attention."

 

"So in conclusion, nothing changed," Minhyun declared in the midst of standing up and clearing the dishes from our dining table.

 

I pouted. "Well, what do you think I should do?" I was running out of ideas, and that last one wasn't really something I had my heart on considering that this is all going nowhere and I think I'm just back to still yearning for Jihoon.

 

"How about we help you out with that last plan of yours?"

 

I was somehow wary of this sudden act of kindness. "What do you guys have in mind?" I asked.

 

Seongwu, Jaehwan, and Sungwoon all raised their hands, "I can flirt with him," they chorused at the same time.

 

"What? You can't! Why?" I couldn't decide which question to ask first, and to whom, my eyes zig-zagging between the three of them. This lot, really. They're a pack of wolves, really.

 

"I can always just hog his attention all to myself," Jisung added.

 

"Not you too, hyung!" I cried.

 

Minhyun, back after bringing the dirty dishes to the sink, is the last one to raise his hand. "I can flirt with him too."

 

"Forget it," I answered, not paying Minhyun any mind.

 

"I can take his attention away from you so you don't have to always spend time with him."

 

"How is this gong to help me get over him? You're all just trying to get to him!" I complained, and at this point I'm well past agitated.

 

Mnhyun's got his eyes all scrunched up, and he looked like he was enjoying teasing the hell out of me. He wiggled his fingers and somehow I'm reminded of that time we played Mafia game and he was deliberately trying to be obtuse. "I'm trying to help though?"

 

"NO!" I snarl. Let it be anyone else but Minhyun. Jihoon practically worships the ground that his beloved Minhyun hyung walks on, and I don't think I'm prepared enough for all the heart eyes Jihoon will send Minhyun's way. "Definitely never!"

 

And just so Minhyun got the message, I stood up from my chair and made giant X marks with my arms. "Not you, Minhyun-hyung!"

 

"Is he sick? He's acting weird." I heard Jaehwan ask Jisung.

 

Jisung sighed, stood up, and started to usher everyone out of the dining area. "Everyone, let's not alarm Daniel. No one needs to do anything right now. Let's have Daniel think more about this and if he needs our assistance, then we'll help him."

 

Once everyone left Jisung came back to me and patted my head. "It's okay, Niel, we'll help you only if you want to, okay?"

 

"Thanks, Jisung hyung."

 

"A word of advice, though?" Jisung turned to me as he is walking out of the room, "Maybe instead of actively trying to move on, just let it happen naturally? Maybe there's a reason why you can't get over him," he said, and even though he was serious he also had the audacity to shoot me love arrows before he disappeared to where the other hyungs have congregated.

 

"Hyung!"

 

***

 

In the end the conversation got nowhere with no solid plan for me. I'm thankful though that the hyungs now know and in their own way, they are rooting for me to win this resolution of mine.

 

I thought back to what Jisung told me and pondered on my last plan. Maybe it's not anything I need to do something about. Maybe instead of consciously trying to move on, I should just let nature run its course and let it peter out gradually. I still like Jihoon, and maybe I don't need to get rid of that feeling right now. I pulled my phone out and revised Plan #5:

 

**_5\. Sail his other ships instead_ **

**_- ~~ON HOLD~~  REJECT._ **

 

***

 

I take back what I said the other night about being thankful to the hyungs. Bacause today, they seem to be at their worst behavior-- at least when it comes to matters of my heart. It started while we were still in the dorm, preparing to head out as a group to a variety show appearance.

 

All morning long, I can only stare in awe, mouth agape, as each of my trusted hyungs flirted with Jihoon. Right in front of my oatmeal! They were hell bent on keeping me away from him, sticking themselves like glue to Jihoon:

 

I was about to greet him a good morning? Seongwu yelled  _'good morning!'_ to Jihoon too and shoved me to the side.

 

Jihoon was about to hand me a cup of water? Well, Sungwoon took it for himself and 'thanked' the younger boy by asking him to take a water love shot. What in the world?

 

Jihoon was about to sit next to me in the van? Jaehwan pulled him over and had him sit next to him instead. At least Jihoon wasn't too happy about that.

 

Jisung was not of any help, because he just laughed when he saw my face and told me not to be petty.

 

Also, since the hyungs are a bunch of gossipy aunts, my so-called agenda trickled over to the maknaes. The entire car ride to the studio all the kiddos kept sneaking glances at me and smirking. These kids really don't have an inch of respect for me, I ought to unleash Rooney and Peter on them and then let's see who gets the last laugh. But of course, I love these brats to death so I settle for giving them the stink eye.

 

At least they spared me further humiliation and didn't tell Jihoon.

 

Didn't mean I was spared from Woojin's sharp tongue, though. "AAAAH! Why don't you two just talk it out you're acting exactly the same way and I can't take any more of this," he screeched. In my ear.

 

I had no idea what he was talking about, but it was probably just Woojin being Woojin.

 

  
***

 

My mood progressively got darker once filming started. Oh, it started out fine, it was actually really funny and I was very much enjoying myself. And then they had to do that charm point thing. Which Jihoon suggested. And then all these geezers-- sorry, I mean seniors-- started getting all up in Jihoon's face, trying to get him flustered.

 

 _Hah!,_ I thought to myself. Only I can make Jihoon flustered. And Minhyun of course. And possibly Seongwu and Woojin. And Guanlin. And-- never mind.

 

Anyway, all these people lining up to battle with Jihoon seem to all want to kiss him. Why? I understand that it's because he's hardworking and handsome and has kissable red lips but like, I don't get it. I can hear a voice in the back of my head saying  _Liar!_  but I ignored it. Jihoon's going up against another idol and he seemed to be getting flustered. I... don't like it. I walked to the corner of the room and tried not to watch. I got this vague feeling that I wanted to run away so I don't have to see this. Unconsciously, I drew a running stick figure on the board and wished I could do that.

 

So yeah. Even though filming went well I was glum once it ended. I had no idea why, or maybe I do, but I'm tired and don't want to think about these things tonight. Tonight we are all heading out for dinner and I am determined to eat my sorrows away.

 

We reached the restaurant, and I deliberately made sure to arrive last so I don't have to sit next to Jihoon but surprisingly, Jihoon saved me a seat.

 

"Hyung, sit here, here," He had said, patting the chair next to his.

 

 _Well_. A little happy smile escaped from me, because no one is cockblocking me this time and Jihoon had a welcoming smile on his face.  _Don't mind if I do._

 

"Ooh yeah Daniel-hyung, sit next to Ji- ow!" Woojin cried out. He's seated opposite Jihoon and I assume from the way Woojin's clutched his shin, he'd just received a well aimed kicked under the table. Serves him right.

 

So I claimed my spot, and nothing really happened as we waited for dinner. Even when we started eating it was pretty normal. Obviously everyone was hungry so it was eat first, talk later. The chatter started midway through dinner, and while everyone was distracted and busy talking to each other, Jihoon turned to me.

 

"Everything alright, hyung?"

 

"Of course, Jihoonie. Why do you ask?"

 

"Nothing," Jihoon replied. He reached for a serving of meat, and in a low voice, nonchalantly added, "I just missed you lately."

 

...

 

...

 

I paused. My heart stopped, and I wondered if I heard Jihoon correctly. This kid's not that great with words and this shocked me greatly. I mean, I must have been behaving differently enough that Jihoon had to voice himself out like this. The thing is, I don't really know what he meant by saying this but Jihoon kept sneaking glances at me, gauging my reaction.

 

Maybe he missed me as a friend? As something else? Maybe it just means he missed me, period? Maybe.... ah screw it, I said I wasn't going to think too much about things tonight so I took hold of the first emotion I wanted to feel and I promptly exploded with joy.

 

I must have been lost in my thoughts for a while, because I saw Jihoon's hopeful expression turn dim. Obviously it's taking me a while to process this and Jihoon probably thought I'm thinking up ways to politely reject him. Nope, can't have that.

 

I leaned behind him on the pretense of brushing off some invisible lint from the back of his shirt, "I missed you a lot, too."

 

I straightened back up and I can see Jihoon's face visibly turn bright as he placed a piece of meat on my plate. "I'm glad," he mouthed to himself, and I thought back to all the times he tried to initiate something with me and maybe those were all signals I missed. Sorry, Jihoon-ah.

 

He seemed satisfied with that answer, and we came to an unspoken agreement that we're due for some long overdue talk-- preferably later when we get back to our dorm. We returned to our food, and I can't quite keep the smile out of my face as I stuffed myself with dinner.

 

I think... everyone's quite caught on that there's a wholly separate conversation happening between me and Jihoon and so when they saw the giant smile on my face, I practically heard the collective sigh of relief at the table. Thank goodness they were all kind enough not to tease the hell out of us. At least for now. Oh how I love my members.

 

Jihoon went back to playing with Woojin across the table, and if he happened to lean just a little bit too close to me just to reach for condiments, no one batted an eye. Even after we exited the restaurant and I'm walking behind Jihoon and Jisung, huddled together under a blanket to ward off the cold, I was smiling. All the way to the van, when Jihoon went all the way to the back and sat next to his beloved Minhyun, I was smiling.

 

I sat next to him. We didn't talk, but both our expressions were happy. I guess suddenly clearing things out between the two of us in the most unexpected time is a good thing. I knew that whatever conversation transpires later, the outcome will be good and I won't have to create any more silly resolutions to get over Jihoon. I'll get over you eventually; maybe someday, maybe never.

 

But definitely not tonight.

 

When it was all quiet inside and the van zoomed out and started driving onto the night roads, I gazed around and everyone's drifted off to sleep. I pulled out my phone, opened up my list, and proceeded to strike them all out:

  
~~ _**Get Over Park Jihoon** _ ~~

 

Before I can complete my task, a hand sneaked out and grabbed my phone; it's Jihoon and he's fully awake and reading through my list. The bright light of the phone screen made his face glow as he determinedly struck out the rest of my so-called goals. Me? I was just struck with newfound affection for the boy next to me. I reached out to snake my arm around his waist, and sighed in contentment.

 

_**Delete Note?** _

 

_**Yes** _

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Sara Bareilles' song of the same name.
> 
> Sorry my tenses are all messed up! And thanks for reading :)


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